Sunday, April 25, 2010

My Online Dating Ad

So, I have been single now for a long, long time!
I have finally decided to put an end to this madness by putting up an online dating ad.
I thought short and sweet would be the best way to go. I submitted these drawings instead of a head shot...do you think anyone will respond?

Dear Potential Mate:
I am sick of having black hearts pooping on me all of the time! I know some people think it denotes good luck when doo doo lands on them from above, however, I do not share in their sentimental superstitions.



So, with this in mind, I have only one characteristic that I will be looking for in a mate.
I am looking for a man who will love me with his whole heart.


Not just the Penis part of his heart!


Thank you for your consideration, my contact info is below.

~ I surrender to The Writing Womb ~.
>

24 comments:

Lizanne said...

I adore your sense of humor, it is oh-so quirky. This ad would just knock me down - if I were a guy, I wouldn't know how to reply fast enough!!! You are hilarious, I am thrilled I found your blog.

The Naked Writer said...

Thanks so much Lizanne! I really enjoy being silly and finding the funny in the mundane and am so happy to finally have an audience with which to be silly with!
For what good is silliness with out good people to share it with?
I am thrilled, that you are thrilled! ;o)

Jacob Lewis said...

I'd respond. Probably like this:

My heart is all black and broken, but you couldn't really tell because the penis part is so frickin' huge. Call me!

The Naked Writer said...

Nice! I would call you back 4 sure! Funny wins the call back every time!

Jacob Lewis said...

Oh for... where were you for my High School Prom? ;/

The Naked Writer said...

Sadly, I was listening to New Kids on the Block and freezing my ass off in Canada! I never even went to my prom ....so we can just say we went together. So let's set the stage, shall we? hmmm I wore a 'pretty in pink' type skirt with and an off the shoulder michael jackson sparkly one white glove t- shirt and red Doc Martins to our prom (I was totally hot)...what did you wear? oh and for our 'after party' i brought my comfy clothes ...a pair of 'rad' MC Hammer Pants...oh oh hammer time!

Jacob Lewis said...

Flock of Seagulls hairdo, Sonny Crocket shirt and pulled-up sleeves, and black Chuck Taylor Converse high tops... actually, I still wear those last ones. And for the 'after party', a change of underwear, a pack of Hubba Bubba, and a box of Trojans. Don't worry, baby. I read the instructions beforehand. ;)

Lori said...

Can I jump in here?
...
You are hilarious! I will take you out in a second! Oh wait... we already have a date for tomorrow! ;-) (penis not included)

Love you long time,
you know who

The Naked Writer said...

@jacob pack of hubba bubba...lmfao i just read this now ...but now it's even funnier after the post i wrote on gum! HA oh and converse...damn i forgot all about those hot get up we would definately be prom king and queen for sure!
@lori glad you liked it...i was wondering when you would get around to reading it! yay cant wait to see you tomorrow i am a little disappointed that you will not be sharing your lovely penis with me though ;o(
me love you longer time!
xo

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Alt Com said...

This cracked me up so hard! Can I use the same idea, not copy yours, but the same concept for my profile in Alt Com?

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