Sunday, May 02, 2010

Help! Missing for a decade! Have You Seen Him?

From 1989 to 1999, The Tetris Monster spawned a decade of  Night Sweats, Sudden Tick Syndrome, Insomnia and adrenalin related panic attacks, into the hearts and minds of innocent gamers everywhere! 
He was a camouflaged, terrorizing shit disturber that could instantly turn your blood cold and ultimately wreak havoc on your Tetris game. 


You may remember him from such times as, when you had the entire bottom half of the screen filled perfectly... just chillin', waiting patiently for Mr. Skinny Piece to arrive so you could clear the area and get super duper bonus points.
A smug, self satisfied, knowing look adorned your face. A look that said 'I am a Tetris Prodigy! My organizational skills are unsurpassed by no one! Everyone should grovel in the wake of my awesomeness, for I am Queen / King of  Tetris Land!'

Horray! Your knight in shining armor finally graces you with his presence.  He's all lined up, excited to be a part of your masterpiece, he double checks his calculations once, twice, three times...he's now set to sacrifice his individuality and complete his mission.

But NO! What's this? Everything suddenly becomes haywire and Mr. Skinny Piece spirals out of control, aborts his mission and plummets to his death in a flaccid horizonal fashion.

Your smugness receeds and is replaced by one of shock and denial that causes you to blame the incident on defective controllers or sketchy opposable thumbs....little did you know, there was in fact, a Tetris Monster lurking in the shadows of your game.

But whatever happened to The Tetris Monster?
After 1999, all traces of this monster have disapeared. Please contact me if you have heard anything.


~I surrender to The Writing Womb~


Cameron said...

I found him a couple of weeks ago. He screwed with me then ran away, haven't seen him since.

Jacob Lewis said...

I heard Q-Bert stomped all over him.

The Naked Writer said...

@ Cameron did he at least use some lube?
@ Jacob...come on, who told you that? That would be a good fight though, i may have to recreate that! Q-Bert vs Tetris monster who will win?

Lizanne said...

I think he was at the bottom of my purse, underneath one of Bram's used diapers...he may not have survived.

BTW I am flattered beyond you faved me. I will fave you back and let the stalking commence! And I would be thrilled to make something upcycled for you to wear out there in Thais-ville, what's your size? (And don't you dare say XXS or something or I'll have to retract the BFF thing...)

Eolist Petite said...

the Tetris Monster! i used to see it in my mirror looking back at me quite often - still do on occasion... to be honest though; i'd rather see this guy than Dr. Mario trying to kill me with those nasty pills.
(ha! my word verification is 'bruised' - as in what they both often did to my ego)

Eternally Distracted said...

All i wanna do now is find that game again... I don't care about the Tetris monster, I want him back - I forgive him and his genius.

The Naked Writer said...

@ Lizanne doth you slain the Tetris Monster with poop??? You are after my very heart! No need to retract the BFF thing, I haven't been xxs since i was an embryo in the womb!
@ Eolist lmfao! I forgot all about the evil Dr. Mario...that pill pushing bastard! I heard he worked for the pharmaceutical companies to make pills seem attractive to children ..worked for me!
@Eterally you can play it...just punch in play tetris free and there are a bunch of sites...but watch out...maybe the poop didn't kill him...he may still be lurking around!

The Naked Writer said...

ummm wait a second! Did I just read that correctly? Lizanne, you carrying Bram's dirty diapers at the bottom of your purse????
Please don't ever offer me a gum or a certs!!!! lol

Eolist Petite said...

LMAO - "what flavor certs did you say this was?"

Annie (Lady M) x said...

Aaahh.... the Skinny Piece, the true love of Tetris-heads. But don't forget to mention the Skinny Piece's nemesis - the Red Piece with steps.

brokenangel said...

I sure remember getting haunted by that a few years ago.... =)

Jacob Lewis said...

Q-Bert stepped on Tetris Monster's "cubes". Game over.

IndigoWrath said...

Hey Ms. Naked! I know this suckah! He screwed mightily with a near record game of BUST-A-MOVE I was playing last week. No wonder the coloured balls were replaced by coloured cubes! The swine! Indigo

gnarlycarleigh said...

Wow! I'm so flattered and I LOVE your tetris monster. I'm reliving some rage from my childhood he has caused me...
Anyways, thanks for stopping by and checking out my adventures... I know they'll be some awesome ones coming soon!

kaloo said...

I dunno much about this crazy stuff yet but you got some crazy stuff. I want to go play Tetris now but I gotta get up in the morning.

Lizanne said...

Yes, I have been known to keep a poopy diaper in my purse when trash bins are scarce. I ain't no litterbug! It's actually a status symbol for the parent tribe I am a life-time member of. The bigger the bulge in your purse means the bigger your child's BMs are, which is an important thing in my culture.
And have no fear, my dear, I never have certs in my bag. If anything, soft, sand-covered gummy bears, which I would never offer you, even if we are BFFSS.
I'll shut up now.

The Naked Writer said...

@eolist lol, i love that you have to ask what flavour they are...would that determine whether you would take it or not if you are a die hard cherry certs fan but its at the bottom of a purse with dirty diapers would you take the certs?
@Annie ah yes the red skinny piece with steps, i have a blog devoted entirely to him
@broken haunted you say? his ghost you saw? so then he must be dead good job lizanne
@jacob ummm that's a lot of cubes to step on unless q bert was in ninja gear i don't think he could sneak stepping on all of them...he needs a cloaking device of some sort to win
@ Indigo holy shit he really has a problem doesn't he? mixing tetris monster and bust a move is a deadly combo that can result in overdose, someone should warn him!
@gnarly yes he occurred a lot of rage in his day glad you are working through it what's the name of your tetris psychiatrist...i am always looking for a good one!
@kaloo if you drew a tetris eating chicken we could have ourselves a cool death match!
@ Lizanne ha ha the bigger the bulge the more poop you have in your purse? thank god that isn't true of mens bulges ekkk grosss!
thanks for all the comments it's fun to read them!


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