Thursday, May 27, 2010

The Naked Writer 101

Above, is a picture of me, The Naked Writer. See, I am not just a cartoon character!

My new stalker friend J-face over at The Yellow Factor had made a list a while back, of 100 things to know about him on his site. His honesty was inspiring and it made me wonder if I had a list inside of me too that I could share. Turns out, I totally did...if you want to know anything else, just ask!
Oh, and please don't steal my blog entries and pictures without proper credit and my permission. This stuff I write and draw is all copywritten...thank you, I appreciate it!

The Naked Writer 101 
  1. Everything I have done or not done in my life, has somehow been for love
  2. I still trick or treat even as an adult…not just for the candy but for the little glimpses into other peoples lives, to see what a normal persons world smells like, looks like, sounds like
  3. I enjoy making people laugh more than anything else in the entire world.
  4. The search for love and authenticity/individuality are the only two things that get me out of bed everyday
  5. I stare at walls for hours when I am procrastinating thinking of all I have to do that I don’t want to do
  6. I once gave a guy a 4 hour blow job
  7. When put on the spot, I have no idea what I do or do not like, I have to take an exaggerated pause to weigh out my options and think about it
  8. Loud unexpected noises annoy me, even if it’s me who’s making them
  9. Movie theatres are icky; a bunch of people crowded in a room breathing each others germs, eating like cows it’s fucking gross
  10. I don’t grow my fingernails because I love to play the guitar which is my drug of choice now
  11. I used to be a stripper or 'exotic dancer' on and off (more off than on) for 7 years
  12. I love dogs so much, but will never own another after having to put my dog down cause of cancer…I now live vicariously through other peoples dogs
  13. Most times I feel like I am an empty egg shell that is already cracked, waiting to fall and shatter into a million pieces
  14. I don’t know what I believe in, it changes daily, sometimes hourly
  15. My sun sign is Leo, My rising is Leo and my moon is Sagitarius I am all fire baby and that causes a lot of problems for me as I can be a highly reactive and explosive individual
  16. I suffer from A.D.W.D. (Adult Don’t Wanna Disorder) it’s epic!
  17. I wear glasses because when I was 11, I thought glasses were cool so  I lied on my eye exam to make it seem like I needed them
  18. Wearing glasses makes me feel safe, like I can hide my emotions from people when I am wearing them. I feel naked without them.
  19. I have perfect teeth but always wanted braces so I used to stretch a paper clip out and put it in my mouth and tell all the kids in school it was a retainer
  20. I quit my job for a year to become a professional poker player. I was a shark and did very well until I started to use drugs to be able to stay up and play longer
  21. I have always believed that there is something really wrong with me and so far, most of my life has been dedicated to finding ‘the cure’
  22. I think ‘What’s the point?’ to almost everything in life it prevents me from trying most days
  23. I want to be ‘Baby’ so ‘Johnny’ will tell everyone that no one puts me in the corner and we will sexy dance and love each other forever and live happily ever after…yes, I am still searching for my fairy tale ending
  24. Being an exotic dancer made me feel empowered most of the time
  25. I once turned down $50,000 to sleep with a man because after much deliberation I came to the conclusion that once a whore, always a whore, I don’t regret that decision!
  26. On my 75th birthday, I will allow myself to try the most addictive drugs that I have always been curious about but afraid to try (like Crack and Heroin)
  27. When I was 7, I thought I was a mermaid for the entire summer. I could hold my breath for more than 4 minutes underwater and swam like I had a tail
  28. I stabbed my brother in the face with a pencil for no reason when I was 9, last time I saw him, he still had the grey dimple in his cheek
  29. I worked hard in my life to get everything that I wanted and then when I had it all, I gave it up cause none of it made me happy, it was then that I finally understood that money really can’t buy happiness
  30. I HATE to disappoint people
  31. I feel pressured to always be engaging and fun when I am around others this makes me want to stay at home a lot
  32. I joined a cult and didn’t know it for a while
  33. I have drank my own pee three times it’s called Urine Therapy and yes it was fucking gross 
  34. No matter how thin I get, it’s never thin enough, so I just stopped trying
  35. In order to get super skinny, I went on a cocaine diet. I did all kinds of research and decided that because it wasn’t a physically addictive drug, I could control it cause of the insane amount of will power I have. I still ended up addicted to that drug for more than a year and it was the most expensive diet I ever went on
  36. I didn’t learn to drive until I was 24
  37. I tend to procrastinate procrastinating!
  38. Listening gives me anxiety sometimes
  39. Mostly I spend my life waiting for the other shoe to drop
  40. I am now afraid to feel too happy because happiness always ends in misery for me
  41. I envy the mentally retarded (no joke) Their ignorance is a freedom I long for in life
  42. My biggest fear is going crazy and losing my grip on reality.
  43. I have a big thing for Dirty dancing’s Johnny also, John Cusack, Jeff Goldblume, Jim Halpert, John Malchovich…actually, maybe I have a thing for men who have names that start with ‘J’? I have a feeling that something cool happened to me the day I watched the episode of Sesame street that was brought to me by the letter 'J'?
  44. I have been proposed to 7 times and have never once said yes because it felt like I would be settling
  45. Sometimes I can be so impatient that I actually feel it as pain in my body, one time, impatience gave me an asthma attack!
  46. I am afraid of failing and I am afraid of succeeding so most times, I don’t even bother
  47. I have a different sound effect for things I do like when I throw something or drop something I make a weird noise with my mouth I only recently discovered this annoying quirk
  48. I always think the grass is greener on the other side yet when I move to the other side, the grass is still all brown and wilty
  49. I wrote my first book when I was 8; Chutney the Squirrel, I designed a cover and bound it and everything!
  50. I hate smoking weed, it makes me paranoid 
  51. I dislike quizzes it’s a stupid waste of time for someone else to box me into who they think I am…yet the curiosity eats away at me
  52. Gossip mags make me sick yet when I go to the check out in a grocery store, there’s nothing to do but read them and then I want to buy them cause who’s ass is that with all the cellulite on it?
  53. If someone is behind me when I am driving, I tend to go way over the speed limit just so they don’t get mad at me or think badly of me
  54. I am super long winded (both in writing and talking with others) , I wish I could edit what I say mostly
  55. When someone is telling me a story and I say ‘oh yeah you told me last week remember?’ and yet they finish the story anyways, I internally get into such an impatient rage that it feels like my eyeballs will pop right out of their sockets and I want to head butt them till they shut up so I don’t have to pretend to be interested in something I just heard…ugh!
  56. I tend to lose track of what I am saying as I am constantly worrying about what the other person is thinking and if I have a booger on my nose or if I have morphed into the alien that I feel that I am. How would I know, would they be too polite to tell me?
  57. I can't stand that I have imperfections and I wonder if I will ever love myself exactly as I am
  58. Seat belts make me angry, they always find a way to move up on me and dig right into my fucking neck.
  59. In the last year, I  have been in 3 motorbike accidents, I used to get tattoos to mark special occasions but now I proudly wear my scars. I am especially proud of my ‘franken knee’ it’s sexy!
  60. The best part about watching a new movie in the theatre…the previews!
  61. I pride myself on never being late! I would rather be 30 minutes early than 1 minute late
  62. If you fart, I will laugh…nothing personal but that’s ‘A’ material
  63. I have a burp that would scare bears away and I can belch on command
  64. The feel of Styrofoam on my teeth or brushing against my nail or skin makes me almost throw up
  65. I love to give presents and surprise people. I put a lot of thought into them, sometimes like a whole year of thought!
  66. I don’t like to use up anything…so I have almost empty jars/bottles of stuff lying around the house
  67. When making a sandwhich, instead of wiping the last remnants of the knife onto the bread, I like to lick the condiment off of it instead
  68. I have monkey toes they are strong and can pick up anything…people who know me, are afraid of my feets
  69. I love being in a long term relationship
  70. When I was in grade 3, I tried to dance in the talent show to ‘I want your sex’ by George Michael I was hurt and confused they said no, cause I was awesome yet I was sent to the principles office for inappropriate behaviour!
  71. I have been making up words since I was little and making people believe they are real …insegrievious was my first one
  72. I don’t like to have sex with someone unless I am in love with them…then I can orgasm from my body, heart and soul…that is the best feeling a person can have
  73. I have a hard time asking for help
  74. I had a $20 a day book buying habit as I read a book a day for well over a year
  75. I used to be an avid list maker and couldn’t be productive without one…come to think of it, now that I don’t make lists, nothing ever gets done
  76. I once got so coked out that I watched Zoolander for two days straight and was still entertained by it every time!
  77. Ecstasy doesn’t make me horny or friendly I just want to dance, close my eyes and pretend that nothing exists except the music
  78. I am a happy, horny, fun drunk
  79. When I found my first grey, I cried like a baby and when I called my best friend, he thought someone had died.  When he finally got the story out of me, he cried with laughter
  80. I actually saved my first grey hair and wrote down the day I found it
  81. Anthony Robbins books are responsible for me changing the direction of my life. His books and tapes helped me quit drugs, gambling and stripping and inspired me to open my own business and be more than I ever was. Tony Robbins is my hero and I thank him for producing such amazing material, I am still pursuing my dreams because of his words.
  82. I like to cry hard once in a while, it makes me feel relieved, it’s like an orgasm for my eyes
  83. I am a night owl there’s something so romantic about being out after 3 am it’s exclusive like the whole world is mine
  84. When I am excited about something, I can inspire you to be passionate about it too because of how much enthusiasm I have I have been told, when I am like that, I am contagious and magnetic and could sell a used car to a used car salesman
  85. When I was stripping, about 50% of my clients just paid me to listen to their hopes, dreams and problems at home
  86. I am an excellent pool player. I actually skipped off an entire semester of school when I was 14 to learn to play pool and gitoni (foozball)
  87. I am good at projecting that I have a lot of self confidence and power,  but mostly I am a jelly donut on the inside; scared and vulnerable
  88. Most of my friends are guys, I just don’t understand women
  89. I am a hopeful romantic
  90. Every night before I go to bed, I pray that I will find my soul mate 
  91. I moved out when I was 14 and lived on my own since I was 16 years old
  92. I have a hard time showing weakness
  93. I have very few regrets in life even though I have done and said some fucked up things
  94. I once loved someone so much that I gave up a big part of my identity and most of the qualities that I loved about myself just to make him happy and try to make it work
  95. I love watching a good on screen kiss it turns me on more than any porno ever could and makes my heart flutter with hope!
  96. I will never cheat on a boyfriend…ever! I am loyal to a fault
  97. I don’t have many secrets…even though I have done a lot of taboo things in my life that pushed the envelope of acceptable by social standards
  98. I didn’t do my taxes for 9 years but when I finally got around to it, I got a shit load of money back
  99. My live in boyfriend of 5 years broke up with me over video games. See, as a dancer, I would only have to work 4 days a month which was more than enough to pay all the bills. For the rest of the month, I had a love affair with Playstation . He said it was him or the video games, I chose the video games…duh! I think he was just super jealous of my amazing hand eye coordination and my mad skills to beat him at every game.
  100. Currently, I live on a small island in Thailand called Koh Phangan. This island is famous for its monthly ‘Full Moon Parties’ where 10,000 + people show up from all over the world to party like a rock star for 3 straight days and nights on the white sandy beach about 10 kms from my house…I have lived here for a year and have never attended one of these parties…weird!
  101. I miss my best friend so much it’s like I have walked around with a pitch fork in my chest for the last two years. At least 10 times a day, I wish he was here with me and I wonder if I will ever see or hear from him again



~I surrender to The Writing Womb~

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22 comments:

Jacob Lewis said...

I can't believe I read every fucking one of those things, but I'm glad that I did. It's been nice getting to know you better each time you reveal something new. Now I feel like I owe you 101 responses... I don't know if I'm that interesting.

Mimi said...

I love your raw honesty and yes girlfriend, you make me laugh. I resonated with many of your personal points but the one below couldn't be more right on!
"Movie theatres are icky; a bunch of people crowded in a room breathing each others germs, eating like cows it’s fucking gross."
Exactly, all those frickening mouth noises, didn't anybody's parents teach them to chew with their mouths CLOSED! Keep up the great work Pebbles, you're moving through it...and yes, one day you will delight in all that is perfectly imperfect!

Kristi said...

this is a good blog idea...I might steal it as well. It's good to be honest like this, even if just for yourself :)

woman:confused said...

I laughed, I almost cried... (I'm at work so I held back)
I could have written so many of those!
I, too, feel like I should do a 101 things now

One Pea said...

I admire your ability to share so much of yourself with complete strangers. Although, I have found lately that it is easier to share with strangers than with the ones who love us. Your openness and honesty is admirable and inspiring.

(I've always liked looking in people's windows at night when I'm driving by their houses and imagine what their lives must be like- always better than mine).

(#5, #7, #13, #14, #22, #38, #39, #40, #45, #46, #47, #48, #73, #88, #94- me too. Freaky)

IndigoWrath said...

Wow Trish, that was fabulous. I'd do something similar, but I'm happy with this peculiar house of cards I've built, where I get to blog in quiet anonymity. Now, on the flipside, if I met you in person, I'd enjoy having the conversation; I'm an honest soul when I'm not behind a keyboard. Thanks again, Indigo

Brans~Muffin said...

I was honestly your first comment but then the phone rang and an hour later....Gah!
I read everyone but stopped counting after #50 the #'s I planned on commenting on....LIKE #6 #14 #19 #20 #25 #33 #50.....

You complete me....and you simply simply simply MUST go to that Party and Blog about it....Puhleaseeeeee???

thriftymomma said...

This is one of the funniest blogs I have read yet. You are one clever writer. I follow you.
I am here http://www.thriftymommastips.blogspot.com/ Follow or not, no pressure

Nina Manson said...

I love this post and your honesty! Thanks for making me laugh real hard! :D

Judo Rhapsode said...

Thanks for the comment on my post. Your kind words are appreciated. Your number 1 thing to know (about everything somehow being intrinsically tied to love) was wonderfully concise and potent.

I, too, look forward to your writings.

spankey said...

I'm sitting here on my honeymoon and am figuring out a way to do a list like this as well without neglecting the newly minted husband.
See if I accomplish at least a list of 20!
http://spankey-happythoughts.blogspot.com/

~Onreeone~ said...

Lovin the list~ as usual you got it going on. We have a lot in common, especially the impatience part of it. But, I'm working on it and xanax has helped me a great deal.

JennaChristineC said...

:) <3

Midwestern Mama Holly said...

Wow, just wow. What honesty. Great post.

Chara Lynn said...

Amazing post to say the least! Thank you for sharing and being honest!

Chara

Elmer said...

Revealing, interesting, and entertaining. Nice one.

Gabriel Patrick Orla Cooper said...

Great blog. Honesty = Beauty. You've got it down.
I e-mailed you, if you didn't catch that already.

Sarah P said...

Seven times?! You must give amazing blow jobs.

Writing Womb said...

@Jacob you are interesting and thanks for reading all of them!

@Mimi I think a lot of people have issues with the Movie theatres, I could write 10 blogs on things that annoy me in theaters...perfectly imperfect...beautiful way to put it xo

@Kristi yeah it's good to be honest with yourself also it's a list to remind you of stuff when you feel like crap it can help you see how far you have come

@woman confused, glad you were able to hold back your tears...hey, you get to check out blogs at work???must be nice!

@One Pea...thank you, it's tough to be so honest, really, everyone i know, knows about this blog and it's really scary to just say fuck it and let it all hang out...it's been a process and each time it feels like a weight has been lifted. WOw...i love that you sited numbers that's amazing how much we have in common! I too think that the people in the windows i look through have a better life, more exciting, more normal ect.

@Indigo, I find that really fascinating..most people are the other way around chatty behind the keyboard and quiet when around people...happy to have shared with you!

@Brans...lol you complete me too! Hey, did you actually do those numbers that you were going to comment on???? cause we have a lot of peculiar things in commmon then! OR were you just going to make fun of them cause they are sick and twisted?? huh???

@Thrify Mamma, thanks for following me ;o)

@Nina, happy to make you laugh my dear

@Judo, I realized after I posted this that everything I do, I do for love so I had to tweak the post a bit...it was news to me and it made sense thanks for making your way over here

@Spankey, i can't believe how dedicated you are to blogging even on your honeymoon! i read your first twenty something, i liked it a lot...keep going!

@Onreeone xanax helps to make you less impatient? it just makes me sleep a lot and then when i don't have it i get freaking angry and impatient to the max...hmmm maybe taking it more than recreationally would be a better choice?

@Jenna, thank you for the peep show...mightly nice virtual boobies you have there!

@Midwestern, thank you, it was liberating to be this honest

@Chara, thanks, sharing this was one of the hardest things i have ever had to do, i was cringing inside when i pressed the 'post to blog' button

@Elmer; Revealing yes, interesting, i don't think so but thanks for the compliment

@Gabriel I emailed you back...I am glad that someone thinks that honesty = beauty...most people would rather have things sugar coated thanks for coming over here and checking out this blog of mine

@ Sarah..i am lost, 7 times what? And yes, I do give amazing blow jobs it's the oral fixation thing that i have and also i don't like to let people down so that's a recipe for great blow jobs...lol

Thank you everyone for reading my baggage and commenting on it...and not throwing pies or rotten tomatoes at me, I appreciate it...this was super scary to do but you guys helped to not make me wanna jump off something tall or hide under a rock ...me love you long time! xo

@

It's me MARIANA said...

I started reading your blog yesterday and I love this list. It makes me feel that someone else in this planet feels like I do about some stuff. Your words are speaking not only about you but also about me. Don't worry I won't steal your list but know that I loved it!

Writing Womb said...

@it's me Mariana; thanks so much, it's nice to know i am not alone out here in the jungle! sometimes, i feel so alone I wonder why i even bother so sharing this stuff and knowing that others can relate to it, helps A LOT!
Thanks for popping by

Jenny said...

You are quite clever. I came over to visit from WOW. What a different blog! Thanks for sharing.

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