Wednesday, June 09, 2010

This Blogger Is Creatively Constipated, Does Anyone Have An Antidote?

Trying to write a blog post this week, is like trying to take a crap if you are constipated. There’s a lot of pushing, grunting, and effort only to have nothing to show for it in the end!

~Sigh~ I just want to take a creative dump and share it with you guys, is that too much to ask for?

Yep, my artistic tendencies are blocked right in the sphincter. I am all bunged up with nothing to write, and I am left looking for some sort of communicatory ex-lax to induce some productivity.

Maybe if I grew a second head, I too could be uber creative?

I have tried using Google Tourette’s Syndrome (GTS) to spice up my internal wizardry juices, I have tried yoga, Red Bull, painting,
bitching in Haiku, writing,  drawing with crayons,  speaking in gibberish, stalking other bloggers, meditation, Chuck Norris jokes, singing, poetry, playing my guitar, twisted stories, making homemade yogurt, sleeping and masturbating (well…that last one was just to pass the time while I waited for inspiration to hit me) nothing seems to work!!

I need your help! All week I have been unable to produce any creative discharge! My innovation is all dried up, it’s flaccid and limp like a penis after Spring Break. Do you guys have any ideas on how to unblock one’s juices? Anyone have a funny idea they would like me to blog about? Do you have any weird sayings you have heard or use and need someone to decipher them for you?

Send me a message and I will include your idea on my next blog topic!

Bye for now

The Bunged Up Naked Writer!

~I surrender to The Writing Womb~


Rich said...

I simply write until something intelligent comes out. Most times it works, sometimes no. A lot of times I cruise the news articles, looking for something to irritate me or piss me off enough to write about. Just a thought.

Miss Nikki said...

Stalking other blogs hasn't helped? Every time I read a post and slap in a comment I have to resist the urge to turn the comment into a post. I'm soooo frrrreeeaaaakkkkinnnnnggg lengthy in my friggin comments. How about making lists? Avoid the "what annoys you" list. You'll only end up pissed at the world ruminating bad stuff. But odd lists, like weird stuff you firmly believe in, or the embarrassing songs that no matter have you up and dancing and singing, or first sexual encounter is always fun, or embarrassing situations you've never been caught in but what would you do if (i.e. having sex in the plane toilet and the door unhooking and popping open as your butt slams against it with your feet propped up on the sink and a 76 yr old man waiting first in line to go in,in the toilet that is not in, he's old and has the runs and shits his pants as he sees you).

I could send more ideas... how do I email you as you suggested? I'm such a loser, I'm sure you have a huge easy to find bullet with an easy link to message you!

YogaSavy said...

The pictures speak a thousand words! Constipation...... Doing Nauli helps Check out the site. Have fun with it and let the dam open!

RawknRobynsGoneBlogWild said...

I posted a face like that and had to come over. (Found you through Nikki at Life's a Bitch). Next, I laughed a lot and had to join your following.

IndigoWrath said...

Hey Trish! I'm a Pragmatist; if I have nothing to say, I say nothing. Some days the Muse eludes me entirely, but I'm cool with it. I missed my first Sunday in ages this week; hot weather and bad sleep killed me. I had one almost done, but not DONE. It waited til Monday. But nobody read it. So it all evens out ;> Indigo

One Blonde Girl said...

Join the club. I'm about to blog about the weirdo stuff I discovered while packing. In other words, I've got nothing. But, hey! I really enjoyed those pics!

Christian Life said...

Well, writers’ block... Try to reflect what was happening around when you were in a writing mood last time. Not just one moment, but when it was a flow, flow of inspiration. Keep that feeling inside for a while and release. You owe nothing... It will come up! It’s like planting a seed. Allow it a time to grow.
I wish you well Christian Garden

Anti Vigilante said...

Writer's clog got you down? You need insta... hmm what should it be called... robo... auto... never-be... look i'll hafta get back to ya.

i'm working early on Pax Paranoia No. 3 as well as exposing the hairy underbelly of politics or the fact that really it's our failure to act before it's too late that it becomes too late.

politics is the only clock that can be turned back.

Anti Vigilante said...

Miss Nikki - i read odd lists as old tits

see that's all it takes to break the big one

Jacob Lewis said...

I suggest becoming a fugitive from your own blog because you can't help avoid opening up another can of worms with your ex. Can I stay with you for a while?

Writing Womb said...

Thanks for your comments and advice everyone! much appreciated...
@Rich, i took your idea and thought of a person that irritated me and a really interesting poem came out of it...i am posting it now

@miss! you and i are soul mates, we both write blogs as comments...i love it! if you want to reach me by email, it's
nope, i don't think it's a very easy thing to find my email on this site (only really good stalkers can find it lol) also great ideas! the things that annoy me like i said above for rich was a hit! i thought of a specific person i dislike and the words just flowed...i think emotion is a good way to get the juices flowing again for sure...loved your ideas thanks for giving me some insight!

@ yoga savy..yes nauli and uddiyana bhanda helps physical constipation but not writer block kind of constipation thanks for the tip though...

@Rawkin Robins just the name alone, remember that song? go wash your boday tweet tweet tweet
i am gonna have alook at your site now thanks for laughing and joining in on the fun!

@INdigo...yep hot weather and lack of sleep do it for me every time! i have no desire to do much of anything when i melting this much! ughhh so hot! gonna read your sunday post now...(hey it's friday that isn't procrastinating now is it?)

@one blonde girl, glad you liked the pics..omg you are moving? are you homeless? i have totally neglexted to read your blog i must play catch up! this should make for some good stories though, the weird shit you will find at the bottom of drawers

@christian thank you for the kind words they were inspiring you crack me up! looking forward to reading the next installment of paranoid pax

@ jacob..sure you can stay with me for a while, why are you a fugitive from your blog? did you become a shit disturber and didn't know it??? eeek!

Miss Nikki said...

Instead of sucking up all your comment space I wrote a post all for you! Even dedicated it to you... Aaaaaahhh? Isn't that sweet of me? All you need to do is promise to love me for all eternity!

read it, love it, rejoice it!

Writing Womb said...

@ miss nikki...I loved your post! it was most excellent and a few of the ideas you had helped a lot with my writers ROCK babe!


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