Today, inspiration hit me in the face like a sack of…well, I have never had a sack of potatoes hit me in the face so I can’t really use that expression now can I? But, I have had a Ball Sack hit me in the face once or twice, and let me assure you, you never really see THAT coming…well actually, you do… but they are so quick you don’t really have time to get out of the way and before you know it, you have been Tea Bagged...hopefully not by yourself...cause that's just gross and at the same time, really impressive!
Um, so back to my point...inspiration, yep, as you can see...I have A lot of that today!…OOOKK, moving on…
I was highly suspicious upon waking up this morning when I looked in the mirror, and I had PERFECT HAIR! I mean, Pantene Commercial kind of perfect hair…which I never get, even if I style it.
I pinched myself a few times to make sure I wasn’t dreaming this lustrous mane I saw before me…but nope, I woke up hot!
Score one for me! That is a first!!!
It must of been the 2 hours of beauty sleep I got last night, coupled with all of that procrastinating I did yesterday, this appears to be a perfect solution for beauty as it made my skin and hair shine like something shiny (yeah I AM beautiful today but I didn’t claim to be witty or intelligentzs ok?)
But what I really think is the key ingredient for all this hotness I saw before me in the mirror was YOUR COMMENTS! Yep, your comments make me hot ( like sexy hot, not hot and bothered...although there were a couple of comments....never mind)…let me explain!
Whenever I wake up in the morning after writing a post the previous evening, before I do anything else, I open up my Laptop and excitedly wait for my blog page to load up. I am like a kid before Xmas waiting to see your comments!! I love them, I think they are the air that I breathe…fuck, who needs food when I have awesome comments like yours!
Reading your comments brings me so much pleasure that I feel tempted to sit on the side of a road with a sign that says ‘will work for comments’ cause I don’t think I need anything more in life than that!
Comments are my Heroin, my instant gratifaction (yes I have now legally changed the word from gratification to gratifaction cause it sounds cooler…fuck you Oxford Dictionary I am now fully capable of making my own wordz up, cause I am all growed up see?) and I need my daily fix dammit (My daily fix of comments see? I know I may have lost you there while I was cussing out The Oxford Dictionary, so sorry about that)!
I figured out last night that the reason I got into blogging was to have a valid creative excuse to procrastinate writing my novel…but I have figured out this morning that the reason I keep blogging on a regular basis is for those delicious, nourishing, life sustaining, beautifying comments that melt both in my mouth and in my hands!!!!
I don't know if you really got this, I may have been a little vague so let me reiterate:
ME LIKEY COMMENTs!!
I don’t know most of you guys personally, yet, but I love you guys! FYI: From my superior stalking skills, I am becoming very acquainted with a lot of you even though you don't realize it yet (but not in a creepy way...yet ;o)
You guys and gals rock my world more than anything else (at the present moment, anyways). I read every single one of your comments and often chuckle out loud and yell ‘oh no you didn’t’ at the computer screen with a full belly laugh HA HA HA…your comments entertain me and I love them deeply!
Like Midwestern Mamah's Response to yesterday's Dear Duane Post when she boldly told me that she thinks Praying Mantis' are so scary, she is putting them on her
'list of things that make her asshole pucker'
OMG! That comment made my asshole pucker...with laughter!
And how about Onreeone's comment on the same post...where she thinks I would be a natural Children's Book Writer...yep I can see it now, my first book for children ages 5-10 will be called 'F' is for Fuck followed by 'H' is for Herpes, but if you are reading this book then you really should of read 'C' is for Condom kids, cause now your 'F' as in Fucked! You are right Onreeone, I am a natural, I am the next Robert Munch! Gee Whiz!
Sara Swears A Lot, thinks that my life of staring at walls and procrastinating "is incredibly exciting" she also claims that I give her a lady boner from time to time...now that's hot!
Chara Lynn, is an officer of the law, who says that she can 'always count on me' to make her want to shoot at her computer
One Blonde Girl, claims that beer and cold medicine is the cure to get through the procrastination barrier!
Wow, thanks you guys for making me super sexy hot today!
Remember folks, only you can prevent my FUGLYNESS and if you ACT NOW, I will throw in more blog posts for you to read… absolutely free!!!!
And, if you comment till I get pretty enough to get laid, I will of course share it with you (the story, not the actual sex)…maybe…unless he’s a keeper…then, probably not…but isn’t that a great deal??? Hmmm???
I am so excited for tomorrow morning, when I get to unwrap your gloriously awesome comments and play with them all day long!
Score after this round: I WIN! AND SO DO YOU!
Your Comments: 1
Sexy Trish: 1
Fugly Trish: 0
~I surrender to The Writing Womb~