Friday, June 04, 2010

Your Comments Took All My Fuglies Away And Made Me Look Hot! Now Comment Some More So I Can Get Laid Already!!!

Today, inspiration hit me in the face like a sack of…well, I have never had a sack of potatoes hit me in the face so I can’t really use that expression now can I?  But, I have had a Ball Sack hit me in the face once or twice, and let me assure you, you never really see THAT coming…well actually, you do… but they are so quick you don’t really have time to get out of the way and before you know it, you have been Tea Bagged...hopefully not by yourself...cause that's just gross and at the same time, really impressive!

Um, so back to my point...inspiration, yep, as you can see...I have A lot of that today!…OOOKK, moving on…

I was highly suspicious upon waking up this morning when I looked in the mirror, and I had PERFECT HAIR! I mean, Pantene Commercial kind of perfect hair…which I never get, even if I style it.

I pinched myself a few times to make sure I wasn’t dreaming this lustrous mane I saw before me…but nope, I woke up hot!

Score one for me! That is a first!!!

It must of been the 2 hours of beauty sleep I got last night, coupled with all of that procrastinating I did yesterday, this appears to be a perfect solution for beauty as it made my skin and hair shine like something shiny (yeah I AM beautiful today but I didn’t claim to be witty or intelligentzs ok?)

But what I really think is the key ingredient for all this hotness I saw before me in the mirror was YOUR COMMENTS! Yep, your comments make me hot ( like sexy hot, not hot and bothered...although there were a couple of comments....never mind)…let me explain!

Whenever I wake up in the morning after writing a post the previous evening, before I do anything else, I open up my Laptop and excitedly wait for my blog page to load up. I am like a kid before Xmas waiting to see your comments!! I love them, I think they are the air that I breathe…fuck, who needs food when I have awesome comments like yours!

Reading your comments brings me so much pleasure that I feel tempted to sit on the side of a road with a sign that says ‘will work for comments’ cause I don’t think I need anything more in life than that!

Comments are my Heroin, my instant gratifaction (yes I have now legally changed the word from gratification to gratifaction cause it sounds cooler…fuck you Oxford Dictionary I am now fully capable of making my own wordz up, cause I am all growed up see?) and I need my daily fix dammit (My daily fix of comments see? I know I may have lost you there while I was cussing out The Oxford Dictionary, so sorry about that)!

I figured out last night that the reason I got into blogging was to have a valid creative excuse to procrastinate writing my novel…but I have figured out this morning that the reason I keep blogging on a regular basis is for those delicious, nourishing, life sustaining, beautifying comments that melt both in my mouth and in my hands!!!!

I don't know if you really got this, I may have been a little vague so let me reiterate:


I don’t know most of you guys personally, yet, but I love you guys! FYI: From my superior stalking skills, I am becoming very acquainted with a lot of you even though you don't realize it yet (but not in a creepy way...yet ;o)

You guys and gals rock my world more than anything else (at the present moment, anyways). I read every single one of your comments and often chuckle out loud and yell ‘oh no you didn’t’ at the computer screen with a full belly laugh HA HA HA…your comments entertain me and I love them deeply!

Like Midwestern Mamah's Response to yesterday's Dear Duane Post when she boldly told me that she thinks Praying Mantis' are so scary, she is putting them on her
'list of things that make her asshole pucker'
OMG! That comment made my asshole pucker...with laughter!

And how about Onreeone's comment on the same post...where she thinks I would be a natural Children's Book Writer...yep I can see it now, my first book for children ages 5-10 will be called  'F' is for Fuck followed by 'H' is for Herpes, but if you are reading this book then you really should of read 'C' is for Condom kids, cause now your 'F' as in Fucked! You are right Onreeone, I am a natural, I am the next Robert Munch! Gee Whiz!

Sara Swears A Lot, thinks that my life of staring at walls and procrastinating "is incredibly exciting" she also claims that I give her a lady boner from time to that's hot!

Chara Lynn, is an officer of the law, who says that she can 'always count on me' to make her want to shoot at her computer

One Blonde Girl, claims that beer and cold medicine is the cure to get through the procrastination barrier!

Wow, thanks you guys for making me super sexy hot today!

Remember folks, only you can prevent my FUGLYNESS and if you ACT NOW, I will throw in more blog posts for you to read… absolutely free!!!!

And, if you comment till I get pretty enough to get laid, I will of course share it with you (the story, not the actual sex)…maybe…unless he’s a keeper…then, probably not…but isn’t that a great deal??? Hmmm???

I am so excited for tomorrow morning, when I get to unwrap your gloriously awesome comments and play with them all day long!

Oh and if you haven’t done so yet, and you think I am a freaky or funny blogger worthy of an award, please vote for me click here!
Thank you for your support!

Score after this round: I WIN! AND SO DO YOU!
Your Comments: 1
Sexy Trish: 1
Fugly Trish: 0

~I surrender to The Writing Womb~



IndigoWrath said...

Hey Trish! Yeah, me likey comments too, and have the same early morning routine, as I rarely seem to post before midnight. But I do sleep. And procrastinate very little. Unless it's work. Oh my, yes. But not on my blog, bless it. Anyway, this is about you, not me. YOU, DAMMIT! Did you make your sign yet? Wanna borrow mine? Indigo

woman:confused said...

I love stalking you. Will you stalk me more too? :D

If I were in Taiwan, we would TOTALLY hang out.

Fugly Trish? I don't see no stinkin' fugly Trish.

woman:confused said...

oh wait. Laid? Does that mean you'll have to shave or something?
Laid. I wonder what that's like...

Jess said...

Comments are awesome. I still get excited over every one (mainly cos I get like 3 per post). I think your kids book sounds amazing. Also, stalking is fun!

Brooklyn Book Lover said...

Love your posts. They make me smile. :-)

samantha said...

Stalk away! I stalk my own blog to be honest, a little sad I know but I like to think someone is reading it. I actually squeak when I see a comment on one of my posts!

Brans~Muffin said...

I was addicted to the Blog Comment light on Myspace so many blogs ago....I love the ego Boost! I voted and self promoted! Good Lick! oh I meant Luck!

Simon said...

We all like comments, yo. They are my sunshine.

Me? I don't sleep. I haven't slept in two days, and I'm a better person for it.


Marylinn Kelly said...

Catching up after the Duane have eclipsed my story of the Washington, D.C. basement apartment cockroach that had to be killed with a hammer. My mother had a saying, "Life in the raw is seldom mild." Don't know its origin but since all life seems to have at least raw edges, I guess we're in for it. Comments do feed the soul, and other parts when the fridge is bare.

twirl unabashedly said...

i'm new around here, but anyone posting a pit bull about to anhiliate his nutsack has got to be a keeper.

...yeah. i cant spell anhiliate. stop laughing.

~Onreeone~ said...

You saved the praying mantis from a horrible death and killed the mosquito to prevent death. You also taught us that you never wear a red shirt of any kind if your going to be around bulls. With your cartoon art and imagination you can write anything for anyone. ~Your just a natural~ Go Trish!

Jacob Lewis said...

Admitting that you have an addiction is usually the first step towards curing it. Unless you're wanting to embrace it even further.

Mommie On Top said...

Oh Trish! I think I woke up on the side of the bed this morning so I was cranky all the way to work. But after reading this post, I told myself, "Hey, I woke up with beautiful hair today too!" So now I feel all better... and sexy too! :D

Good job, Trish! :)

fetal doppler said...

I thought only humans do the banging thing, im amaze with the dog's flexibility. lol

Writing Womb said...

@ Indigo, sure I would love to borrow your 'will work for comments' sign, mine is in the shop

@Woman, i would love to stalk you more but I already spend like 25 hours a day hiding behind your cookie hair didn't you notice me? actually, if you were in Taiwan, we still couldn't hang out...i am in thailand! yeah, getting laid = having to shave dammit...oh well sacrifices must be made

@Jess yes, I will be stalking you when i get up tomorrow morning as i have been ninja stalking your blog the last few days but have procrastinated commenting on how awesome your posts are...seriously, i really enjoy the stuff you write...ummm so i will stalk you soon MUUAAAHHHAAAHHAA

@Brooklyn :o)

@Samantha, i totally stalk my own blog too...whew, i thought i was the only one that did that! Lol i would love to hear you squeek a little...where exactly do you squeek from? is it something a little oil can cure?

@brans good lick? what's that? its been so long i have forgotten! oh yeah and ego boosts are a great way to make me happy and smug and humble yep sure i think not sleeping makes most people a better person..think about it, wars could be stopped cause everyone would be too tired to really give a shit! Comments are my more like my moonshine cause i get drunk and really squirrel-ly on them!

@Marylinn wow that must of been one crazy cockroach to have to kill it with a hammer! it must of made a terrible mess...eeek

@twirl i never laugh at grammer mistakes as i too suffer from forgetting to speel right even my spell check laughs at me and calls me a fucking idiot!

@Onreeone *blushing* awww thanks! That's really nice of you to say!

@Jacob embracing my addiction further is what i am after in this particular situation x

@Mommie AWESOME! Glad you feel better, i can tell from the way you type that you are uber sexy and the great hair made you more so

@fetal, yep that dog had some wicked yoga lessons for that kind of flexibility looks like a fun game though i wonder what happened when he actually bit them???

Thanks for all your lovely comments I am prettier than ever today! Kisses to you all

woman:confused said...

crap - all those asian countries look the same to me!

and I KNEW I felt something behind me!

automated forex trading robot said...

Yeah, me likey comments too, and have the same early morning routine, as I rarely seem to post before midnight.

johnsonconsulting1 said...

Great post, Trish!! Everyone who commented before me was terribly witty, so I have nothing remarkable to add...but I do need to ask you this: Did you feel that all the stars - past, present, and future - had aligned to give you that perfect photo of the doggy about to tear apart his scrotie sac?? *giggles*

I'm loving this blog!!!!

Jay said...

Since comments are like food, I figured I would leave some more. So eat up and enjoy. I haven't had any food all day since I'm too sick to be capable of going further than across the hall to the bathroom. I'm about to steal my roommate's cup o noodles. I love comments! Even though I've only ever gotten three and two of them are from myself, but they're exciting. Sometimes, I forget that I commented on my post and I get all excited that someone commented, but then I click it, and it was just me. But it's nice to know that I care, I guess. Um, I'm going to go steal food now because I'm starving. Do you know what apewrall means? That's my verification word.


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