Monday, July 26, 2010

Is This Too Much To Ask For?

To look to the very depths of me and ask myself 'what do I want?' is a little difficult for me to do. I know all about what I don't like and don't want but what I want in a relationship? I haven't defined it yet...so, I guess it's about time that I try. This is an online dating ad I am working on but it is turning into an EPIC NOVEL as I figure it out. In advance, thank you for your patience while i try to figure this out :o) Happy reading!
I want to be open and honest with someone, become best friends first and see where that takes us. I want the freedom to be myself just as I am and I want to give you that same respect, never trying to change a single thing about each other cause that's what makes us who we are…never morphing into someone else's projections of who they think we should be.

I want a friend who is strong in spirit, secure within themselves, comfortable with who they are and confident in their individuality, who won't compromise or settle for less...who knows what they like and don't like and who loves themselves completely just as they are.

I want a fun, reasonably energetic partner who loves equally to do outdoorsy things as well as surf the couch and quietly read or write/create. Lately,  I have been quite complacent and lazy in life, which is uncharacteristic of me and I feel infinitely bored...it would be nice to have a supportive /enthusiastic person to knock some life and ambition back into me.

I like to listen to music here and there, but not retardedly loud. I never listen to music while driving. I am quite uncomfortable in loud, big places while they pack in people like sardines...crowds of people are not my forte.

As an introverted extrovert, (yes the duality is not lost on me) I enjoy peace and quiet, long bubble baths with candles, reading a nice book curled up on a lounge chair for a day or even a weekend, I love to write and get all these thoughts out of my head...it's like medicine for my monkey mind…I enjoy meditating and yoga with or without a partner, yet the extroverted side of me wants to play a lot, go biking, hiking, rollerblading, swimming, frolicking about like a child, laughing at silly things like pee and poo jokes, dancing in storms and feeling the rain's uniqueness, touch upon my skin, (this is the longest run on sentence in the history of run on sentences, but I digress) I love playing pool, cribbage, texas hold em poker, I like finger-painting, walking in cemeteries to enable me to appreciate the smallest of moments as it helps me to remember where I too will end up eventually.  I like to feel the hot sun on my body as I lay in the sand, I like to speak my mind even if it's not 'politically correct'...hey my truth is my truth and it's all ok!

I can be loud and jokingly obnoxious at times. I love to talk and really enjoy having a partner who is as good a listener as they are a talker.
I like to eat food and don't hide that fact. I am not a slim girl (never have been) but I am voluptuous and curvy in all the places that make me happy....I love myself just as i am ( most days) and am looking for someone who can love me just as I am.


I am a one person type of girl that enjoys being adored and cherished. I really dislike pedestals and prefer not to be put upon one as the fall might hurt me :o) I am looking for a partner where we can be equal....I would rather not subscribe to boxes with tightly shut lids, I like to keep it open. I am not into threesomes, or group things, I don't like to share my partner sexually with anyone else but I am not possessive and you are free as a human to express yourself in ways that make you happy and fulfilled, honesty is important to me so if you are all about lots of partners, and notches on your bed posts, I am happy for you and wish you lots of pleasure but please don't respond to this ad! I am just trolling for one person who is looking for only one person...that's how I roll baby! ;o)

I am not interested in what's become the typical western style relationship, full of dramas, baggage and negativity...I will only surround myself with positive, empowering people who support and nurture my hopes and dreams unconditionally ( so I don't have a lot of friends, cause it is very difficult to find real people who are genuine but the ones i do have are keepers).

I will never cheat on you, ignore you, intentionally hurt you...I just want to love you if you are the right person for me. As I said, I am a hopeful romantic and I have been ignoring the fact that this is what I long for, this is what I crave well, today I put an end to that and will honour this love I long to find.

I love dogs more than cats and I frequently live vicariously through other peoples animals...this way I don't have the responsibility of taking care of them.


I don't like to shop and especially dislike grocery shopping....the most redundant / boring task on the planet!

I like to do all things sporadically and rarely stick with any one activity for an extended period of time...some would say I am a dabbler, jack of all trades, master of none. I am consistently inconsistent so it is tough to say what i like or don't like cause it really depends on my mood...the only thing I am consistent in is writing.

I am a super passionate woman in everything I do and I am looking for a super passionate partner. A seeker of truth, a HOPEFUL ROMANTIC....yes, my heart has been broken before but its healed nicely…and I have faith that the right person will reveal themselves to me (not like that dirty bird) when the time is right.

I am independent and perfectly happy to be alone, in fact I really enjoy having a couple of days just for me even when I am with someone. I have mastered the art of sarcasm and I really love to make others laugh, see them happy.

I rarely drink but if I do, it might be a beer or 3 on my birthday or Halloween; my absolute favourite day, where I still can get dressed up in a costume and go trick or treating! Free candy and fun yay! I am still a big kid I often oscillate wildly back and forth between serious adult me filled with wonder and questions and big kid me filled with wonder and questions... I really love to watch cartoons and peruse the isles of toy stores to see what cool stuff is out there now.

I love gifts that are unique or thoughtful and I take great pride in giving those kinds of gifts too...it could be a poem I wrote just for you, or a song, or something you mentioned a year ago, in passing, that you 'had to have'...I have a very sharp memory and rarely forget anything.

I absolutely love to kiss and cuddle and hug! I really enjoy being touched by my partner even if there is no reason for it...just to let me know you are there!
I enjoy someone who also likes cuddling and public displays of affection.

I don't care if you are rich or poor, I am not into brand names /labels...I don't care if you have the finest cars, toys in the world....that is irrelevant and won't help to win over my heart. In my former life, I used to only fixate on the materialistic side of life but after getting everything I wanted and still feeling dissatisfied and even more miserable, I had to kick those habits and fetishes (shoes) out the door...the simple life makes me happy.

I would love to own a little cozy cabin on a quiet piece of land some day (somewhere off the beaten path)...even if I somehow came into tonnes of money, I would still only want a tiny little home...they make me feel safe and happy.

I don't have any vices....don't do drugs, don't gamble, don't smoke and I don't collect anything but wisdom from the experiences I have had...although I can be quite a pack rat for memories and this is one thing I am trying to work on at the present moment...letting go.

I like to play my classical guitar from time to time but I am only mediocre at it and that's ok as I don't really want to put in a huge effort to get really good at it :o)

I love discovering all the new technology that's out there, it has always fascinated me and I can be found doing endless hours of research on things that I will never buy just because it's fun to know the evolution of things.

I am all about evolution as a person...constantly striving to grow upwards, hopefully not outwards ;o) I love learning about myself and others, I love to teach others and share with them, inspire them, uplift them and help them learn things they never even knew about themselves before.
I am a realistic person and swim in the sea of reality delicately and consciously.

I used to be 'one of the guys' and I really identified with that personality in my life, but lately I have been developing and growing my feminine side, really opening my heart and proudly being a softer kind of lady!

I am old fashioned and enjoy for my partner to be similar...I like it when someone holds the door for me, or gives me flowers for no reason, or leaves me little notes in secret places or makes me breakfast in bed.....and I really like to do those things for my partner too...it's a reciprocal thing for me...the more I give, the more I want to give and I love to make the one I love feel special, loved, appreciated...every single day!

I am mostly positive and upbeat although when I investigate the inner workings of myself I can spiral downwards for a time until I understand my reactions fully and am able to move ahead from there. When I stagnate in life or learning, I feel suffocated.


The sound of a screaming baby is one of the most irritating sounds on this planet, as is someone chewing their food / gum as if a grazing cow. I am very conscious of how my sounds, my footprints, my energy effects other people and I try not to disturb others with my presence, am very respectful of their space and boundaries.

If you are still reading this, congratulations...are you tired, do you need a little nappy now? ;o) Please only respond to this if this strikes a chord with you, if it sounds like you wrote it... if you were reading it and it was your deepest desires as well then great, email me and tell me all kinds of tid bits about you...I really want to know what makes you passionate in life.

I know it's a huge list of things that i am looking for but I am already living the life of my dreams just by asking for it so why not ask for what I want in a partner as well? I am sure now that I have put it out there that the universe will supply to me something even better than what I was looking for.

~I surrender to The Writing Womb~
>

11 comments:

Anti Vigilante said...

Can you see my Pax?

I need my muse.

Hun, you either gotta look harder, or find any guy and change him. Saying that doesn't make me gay does it? Or worse, metro?!

Negativity does not exist.

You either have an apple or you don't.

Plus or zero.

Negativity by nature is dynamic. You can go slower. But you can't be unmoving. Er... wait... Twilight. No, no, I am most certainly moved to cause bodily harm. Which is a positive.

See?

Positivity is by nature both static and dynamic.

You can exist and you can improve.

Quantum Mechanics are figuring this out.

Disclaimer: The above threat of bodily harm against unknown persons over the Internet (against the law in some countries) was a dramatization, because the mention of Twilight was also a dramatization. I haven't been so bored to risk clawing my eyes out or resorting to perforating my ear drums.

Um, shit. The disclaimer is also a dramatization. Self-harm is also a crime in some countries.

P.S. WTF are countries doing on the Internet? My libertarian spidey sense is tingling.

Anti Vigilante said...

By the way, the reason baby cries are irritating is because 1) we're raised with modern inconveniences not raised on in the desert taking pride in adapting ourselves and 2) a baby's cry induces a programmed protect and defend response which we are not trained for because of #1.

Blame whoever changed your diapers when parents weren't around.

It's always their fault. For being there.

Sara said...

I think you sound incredible and any guy who got you would be incredibly lucky : )

YogaSavy said...

The virtual guy! if you find him let me know as well....

stephanie gale said...

this is actually the reason I hate online dating...
you are wonderful, but thinking about trying to find 'Mr. Right' brings out all your doubts and sets you on this path of trying to define what you want and who you are and what you like. My guess is that when you do find the right person, he won't be anything like what you dreamt of. He'll be better. And REAL. But...let me tell it to you this way- whenever we make any kind of connection, any kind at all, we risk getting hurt, or rejected or betrayed. But that being said, I say that when you find the true "right" one, you won't need to explain yourself like this. But you both will be happy to spend the rest of life finding out all those little things about each other and cherishing them and each other.
(but just let things happen- don't try too hard, it's what will get you frustrated)
best luck!
stephanie-
http://ecostylelifebeaumonde.blogspot.com/

Midwestern Mama Holly said...

I bet you get more than a few dates with that ad. Its really a good one.

TruthSeeker said...

Hey there,
What a great blog you have.
Please take a look at mine.
http://www.makeyousmile.net

Let me know about link exchange via mail artlae@gmail.com.

Good luck!

Stela James said...

Amazing post and nice blog design.


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Dan Pearce said...

Haha, any guy would be so lucky. And don't worry, no decent guy actually likes cats very much either. That would just be weird. I loved your post. I'll definitely be following your stuff!

Single Dad Laughing

Anonymous said...

If I were still single... you could easily have been the one for me. Bright, creative, insightful, witty, imaginative, funny, attractive... What straight guy would not want you?

Jay said...

I found an amazing guy, but he moved to California. You can read some stuff about that on my overly emotional, sickness-induced, wanting-to-be-taken-care-of post from yesterday. I honestly don't have enough words to describe how much I miss him. My word is mablyven. I picture a guy with a Swedish accent trying to say maybe when, only he adds an l into the word maybe just to throw you off.

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