Sunday, September 12, 2010

Al Pacino Ate My Homework

Dear totally awesome readers and dare I say, Fans? Not the kind of fans that keep you cool on a hot summer's day but the kind that adore the words and cartoons I write...there aren't many of you, I know,...but I get your hate love emails from time to time.

The biggest question in your sexy grey matter seems to be, Hey, what the fuck? Don't you care to write anymore? Why aren't you entertaining us more often? Are you too good for us now? Did Al Pacino eat your blog posts or did you in fact lose your fingers in some sort of freak firecracker incident that is preventing you from posting cause you now have nubs for fingers cause you didn't heed the warning from Smokey the Bear that says only 'you' can prevent firecracker fingers?

Well, I am pleased to say, I don't have stumps for fingers, although they are short and stubby but that has to do with my genetics and not due to the misuse of dangerous explosives.

Ok, so yes, I have totally wanted to write more often and create more comics and stuff  and I do realize I have been neglecting this blog and all of my bloggy friends, but the summer has been chalked full of fun and work, work and more work.

I wake up at 6:30 every morning and don't get back home until 8 at night as I have recently gotten back into teaching yoga classes every day, giving Thai massages and also helping out with administration and registration at a nearby yoga school. When I get home, in order to make some food, I still have to battle it out in the kitchen with the gigantic jungle Cockroaches that have somehow doubled in size during this monsoon season and have become pretty bad-assed! Last night, one of them did remind me of Al Pacino from Scarface, and I was all say hello to my little friend you disgusting Cock A Roch! The rest of my evening usually consists of showering, tidying up and thinking about how I am too tired to even masturbate, before I drift off to sleep. Life has been hectic and busy but I am loving it!

So I decided to sit down and create an intention for this blog and routine that I can stick to, as blogging helps to keep me sane and grounded, and of course, your comments keep the fuglies away and make me all sparkly and beautiful and I miss you guys too much!

Starting this Thursday, I will be posting regularly every Monday and Thursday each week. With more fun cartoons and twisted stories to titilate you to your very core (ha ha I said (highlighted).

My blog also told me that it needed some cosmetic surgery so, I gave it a nose job, a breast lift and a couple of ass implants...oh yeah,  you can bounce quarters off of that ass's tight son!

Once the bandages come off, I may have to tweak it a bit more here and there but what you see now is likely the new look from now on. Hope you like it ;o) If you think of any other surgeries it might need, let me know

Oh and I would also like to give a shout out to all of you beastiality fans out there...umm seriously?  I got more than 45,000 hits on the Dog Beastiality and Google Tourette's Syndrome post I wrote a while back....Imma make Mommy proud for sure with that one! I thought the Unfortunate Blow Job Incident post was popular at 500 well, as you know, I don't descriminate, so welcome all you beastiality and beast curious fans! Who knew there were so many of you out there? Guess I found my Niche?

Also, thank you to everyone who has voted for me on the bloggers choice awards. You still have time to voice your opinion and support this blog as either best humor blog, freakiest blogger or best entertainment blog.
Click here to cast your vote

Talk to you all on Thursday's blog post :o) If you want to comment on any of my posts or share them,  from now on, go to the top of the blog post to voice your own twisted point of view! The more twisted the better...I love reading them!

The Score After this post

Patricia ~The Naked Writer : 1
Al Pacino Cock a roch : 0

~I surrender to The Writing Womb~


YogaSavy said...

Am glad you are beck on Monday and .... wait I forgot!!
Also glad to know that you are back teaching yoga....
Cant wait for your next post.

One Blonde Girl said...

Glad you've had such a great summer and are back at work. I know that being busy at work keeps my brain occupied and therefore unable to think about, and thus hate, every other aspect of my life. Love the new header.

Didactic Pirate said...

Here's what you need to do: quit your job, remove all friends and relatives from your life, resign from all hobbies and/or exercise, and then you'll be able stay home all the time and post for us everyday.

It's the least you could do for us, I say.

~Onreeone~ said...

Welcome back Trish.....I love the new look of the blog and knowing that u will be wittily entertaining me two days a week for sure. Glad your summer has been well and that you are out and about doing what you love to do. Go YOGA! and damn, I need a massage...

Christi Johnson said...

I love this and am so glad that you are in the process of starting a schedule. I have to do the same now. Work is so busy that writing seems to be the last thing I need to be doing. are up on your game, miss lady. I loved "'s tight son," more than I can say!!

Go 'head, girl!!

Love it.
Don't stop!


Simon said...

I voted already. Get off my back!

Rich said...

Is it possible to be too tired to "spank the monkey"? Welcome back Miss Thang! I have voted already as well. So there you go. Looking forward to more "coming out swinging" posts!

Anti Vigilante said...

Um, Patty (or Morrissey if you prefer), you know that cartoon of you (he says assumingly) always seems to have a wooden axe sticking our of her head.

That's what I come to see. Um, and for er the articles. Yeah.

Patricia ~ The Naked Writer said...

@yoga savy yes it is nice to have a schedule now to stick with, as without one, i will just procrastinate a whole month away and only write a post or two

@blonde well said! yes, keeping busy gives you less time to dwell on the shitty stuff...creating the new header was so much fun it makes me smile every time i look at it and cheers me up too :o)

@didactic pirate...jeez that's all i have to do for you guys? doesn't take much to win you over huh>?

@onreeone i think the reason i can never return home to the west is because massages are just too damn expensive back home and i am so spoiled at getting 2 or 3 massages a week and only having to dish out less than 20 bucks a week...i don't know how to live with out massages anymore! nice to hear from you and glad you like the new look ;o)

@christi when i wrote 'it's tight son' for some reason i was thinking of you and wondered if you would get a chuckle out of it...glad you did :o)

@Simon...awww but i like being on your back! I can be your little monkey and this way i don't have to walk anywhere...thanks for the vote miss thang!

@rich also, thanks for the vote ;O)
i never thought i could be too tired to spank it but i am living proof it can happen.

@anti a stick through my head? lol i knew my cartooning skills were pretty bad but that's too funny! it's supposed to be hair...but i like the idea that my cartoon has a wooden axe hanging off her head i feel like that most days anyways! oh and using 'patty' might get you hurt you best stay away from that 'pet name' :o)

Jeff said...

Uh, beastiality? Wow. And I thought things were bad when my stats showed referrals for people searching "eating sheep eyeballs." You are the winner here.

Graham Oakman said...

Get on with all the hype, and try out homework ordering service on this site.


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