Wednesday, September 01, 2010

Dear Duane....Playdoh says...

Dude...
Plato said that the uterus was "an animal within an animal," and said that if deprived of sexual activity, it would go somewhere else in search of satisfaction.

So if you see a womb on the side of the road trying to hitch a ride, give me a call…that bitch packed her bags long ago.



FYI: Dear Duane is a diary I am writing for my best friend of more than 15 years…we have been estranged for 2 years and I miss him and want to talk to him so I can be 'normal' me (think foul mouthed 4 year old with Turrets, all tweaked out on Crack, Red Bull and Smarties stuck indoors at Recess for misbehaving).
So I write this diary to him to scratch the itch, NO! not the itch caused by Crabs or The gum disease known as Gingivitis!! The itch of missing talking like I do only when I am around him. (ME english good, me make weirdly constructed sentence whhoo whhoo aahhhha ahhhh)(That's my angry monkey sounds)
Maybe our paths will cross again some day…but until then, I need to be the retarded side of Trish, I cannot suppress her any longer! I have been saving this 'A' game material especially for Duane. It's time to share it, hopefully he finds it one day cause my cheesy jokes will make him laugh till he poops a little or a lot.
For more information and older posts, go here to the Dear Duane page

~I surrender to The Writing Womb~
>

12 comments:

YogaSavy said...

You are back... Have missed your writing and your humor...

Sara said...

Your uterus has THUMBS???!!!

Brans~Muffin said...

I think I saw you Uterus on the side of the rode holding a sign that read sixteen miles to the Loveeeeeeeeeeee Shackkkkkkkk!

Brans~Muffin said...

lol "Your" and "Road"...what the hell was I doing up there? Hooked on Phonics my Ass!

NEATO BURRITO said...

Why cant you file a lost uterus report and some professional guy just find it for you.

haha... kudos on the love shack comment!

Simon said...

Is that a thumb or a burrito? I ask because I'd be more compelled to pick up a uterus who was waving burritos around.

woman:confused said...

I may have posted about my vag today and this subject may have been talked about as well.

LOVE the drawing! My uterus looks just like that!

One Blonde Girl said...

Awe... I think it could also be said that an underutilized uterus loses its sense of purpose and then kills itself. Dead. Never to live again.

Patricia ~ The Naked Writer said...

@yoga savy yes, i am back...will try to post twice a week but working 60+ hours a week now so will do what i can

@sara according to Plato, all uterus's have thumbs either that or they have feet so they can escape from the body when the going gets rough

@bransmuffin...lmfao! that horny little goat...i knew it! love the spealing misthakes by the way :o)

@neato wow there's a guy to do that? i was just plastering the town with 'have you seen my uterus' posters but now i may have to hire the uterus detective...maybe that's what gyno's are for?

@simon actually it seems that my missing uterus is a burrito so be careful...don't get fooled!

@woman going to rush to read all about your vag...can't wait, going to cook up some popcorn first...glad to know we have something in common (burritos shaped uteruses)

@one blonde girl loving the alliteration of 'under utilitzed uterus' that's classy and smart! i didn't know that the uterus could committ suicide...that's something to look out for! if it starts asking me for a bottle of pills then i will know not to give it!

Single Dad Laughing said...

Hahaha, hysterical!

Brent said...

That's very funny. Apparently every uterus in the US is satisfied, as I've yet to see one hitchhiking! (Well in fairness, I may not have recognized one hitchhiking but I certainly will now) Great post. Very funny!

Admiral Snuggles said...

Man, check out that uterus. He's hitchhiking.

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