Thursday, September 23, 2010

Even The Devil Would Be Afraid Of Me Today!

You ever have one of those days where you wake up and it feels as if aliens abducted you and probed you anally in your sleep and then force fed you the hottest Chilli Peppers all night but wouldn’t allow you to drink anything to ease the burn-y feeling in your guts and mouth and then they pulled your brain out through your nose and refilled that empty space in your head with a big fat marshmallow which they then lit on fire just before you woke up and it’s been smoldering all day long…Filling you full of rage, that is unlike any other, in that you want to rip everyone’s heart out and shove it down their throat, just before you rip off their head and kick it like a soccer ball into the middle of the ocean?

Me too! Wow…we have so much in common!

I wish I could blame it on waking up on the wrong side of the bed but seeing as one side is always pressed firmly into the wall…that would be pretty much impossible.

All day I have been filled with a vile anger that is so overwhelming and so powerful that it would put Linda Blair to shame! You know, the little girl from The Exorcist who used her projectile vomit as lubricant so she could masturbate herself with that big silver cross while screaming ‘fuck me, fuck me’? Yeah I am like that only worse.

Scary huh?

My anger is making me even more angry and writing this blog post with a flaming marshmallow for a brain seems totally futile. I have to stop before I rip off each of my computers keys and send it flying across the room…cause even technology cannot escape my wrath today!

I hope your day is going better than mine

~I surrender to The Writing Womb~


poet said...

i hope later is better. lovin' your blog~

Jim said...

Hey...that just sounds like my typical day...perk up, it only gets worse...:)

Brooklyn Book Lover said...

So sorry you are having such an anger filled day. That was my day yesterday. I feel much calmer today. Maybe your tomorrow will be better. Hang in there.

Miley (woman:confused) said...

Wait... are you getting laid? I was a little confused by the exorcist "fuck me" reference. That and when I'm angry I usually want sex.
I hope your evening is better than the rest of your day - and that tomorrow is FABULOUS!

ScubaNurse said...

This question could create some serious carnage but...
why are you mad?

Patricia ~ The Naked Writer said...

@poet...later was totally better after I fell asleep all the anger was gone and I woke up feeling good again thanks for lovin my blog:o) gets worse than having a smoldering marshmallow for a head? do tell!

@brooklin thanks for the support! today is indeed a better friend said that moon was in aries (whatever that means) apparently cause i am a triple fire horoscope it indicates that i will be insane on the full moon ...insane with anger that is! thank god it didn't was almost unbearable

@miley ummmm shhhh don't tell anyone but it's been like a year since the last time I got laid...yes, that could be part of the problem...just needed to anger bang it out ...instead i used sleep to stave it off :o)

@scuba ...oh no don't worry no carnage, today is a much better day...i guess i just woke up angry and all this little shit that normally wouldn't piss me off just kept piling up like when i was driving my motorbike and a big butterfly somehow got trapped under my sun glasses and fluttered all over my eye and when i almost hit a stray dog because i couldn't see due to the butterfly drama....and then a big truck almost hit me and it scared the shit out of me...hmmm that was how my morning started where it feels like the whole world is trying to kill you it is a unnerving which usually sets off my anger button

thanks for reading and commenting everyone!

ScubaNurse said...

I'm cacking myself laughing at the idea of a woman on a motorbike butterfly under glasses swerving in traffic.
Sorry but that is awesomely hilarious!!!

Sandra said...

My day is not going much better than yours, but I blame it on hormones.
How wrong is it that your anger filled me with joy?

Patricia ~ The Naked Writer said...

@ sandra lol mission accomplished i was hoping my anger would bring at least one other person some joy...then my anger wasn't in vain see? and now i can justify the infinite amount of rage i felt and the mental slaughtering i did of everyone i came into contact with cause it made you joyous! see, anger has served its purpose :o)

Marsy said...

LoooL awesome post there! I do hope you are feeling better now :)

Jeff said...

You don't happen to do any motivational speaking, do you? I mean, at least not on this day?

Jay said...

I am happy to respond that I have never felt like that, at least not to that extent. I loved the description though. My word is adisses. I think they forgot the space and that the letter a is insulting someone.

Anonymous said...



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