Thursday, September 30, 2010

Laser Hair Removal = Super Hero's Best Kept Secret!

I have always wanted to try Laser Hair Removal, but whenever I think about doing it, all these unsubstantiated fears come up and consume me.



Like how do we know it’s safe? What if voluntarily subjecting yourself to lasers gives you cankles in the near future?



What if leg hair becomes fashionable 10 years from now and then I will look like a plucked chicken that no man will ever find sexy?


What if I get lost in the arctic circle while looking for Santa at the North Pole and the only thing that could save me from hypothermia is curling up with my big bushy Paul Bunyan legs?



What if when I am a senile old lady, I mistake my hairy legs for cute cuddly kittens that are always there with me, giving me something to live for…could I really deny my future bluehaired self that kind of pleasure?




What if the laser somehow deflects off my leg and hits a big shiny object like a desk or medical cabinet or something and then beams right into my eyes hypnotizing me to become the first anti hair removal robot. Where I turn into a lethal killing machine whenever anyone even mentions the phrase ‘hair removal’


That’s a little crazy I know! But we don’t know what these lasers are capable of…maybe that’s how the super heroes REALLY came to be…they were just regular civilians trying to rid themselves of excess hair…and poof laser in the eye! And now they have super powers and must save the fucking world every second of every day…what a pain in the arsehole…that theory makes much more sense to me than a spider bite or expedited human mutations.


Thanks for the Spiderman Costume pic

 

I also have an issue with Laser hair removal because it’s just a priest and a bottle of holy water away from being a modern day exorcism. Where we banish unwanted body hair as if we were (get ready to use a heavy southern drawl here) ex-or-cisin’ the demons! Sending that hair back to the depths of hell from which it came.
 The power of Christ compels you and so does the power of the Laser :o)

Anyone ever done this to themselves? Any problems? Does it actually work? Did you have hair removal remorse? Did you get cankles or Elephantitis of the leg area? Would love to know!

~I surrender to The Writing Womb~

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20 comments:

Rich said...

I think laser hair removal, or (LHR) is relatively safe, you don't need to worry about the cankles. Not aware of the superhero side effect either, though that would be awesome! If that happened, totally let me know, I am so in. And as Dr Evil once said, "There is nothing quite like a freshly shorn scrotum"....... ;D

Rich said...

Thank you for the awards! I feel all special now! You know in a non helmet licking the windows kind of way! Once I figure out how to make some of these, I will pass some along to you!

CkretsGalore said...

I haven't had it done but am interested but not like go all crazy like (ie: Perma Brazilian).

I imagine it's fairy pricey in my part of the world.

Occasionally called Robbie said...

Still giggling over smooth like butter spidey balls! =D

Timoteo said...

I say keep the hair...if you move to Brazil, you'd want to fit in.

Widow_Lady302 said...

I knew a lady who had her lip-stash lasered off...AFTER it was done it was really nice. DURING the process because I guess she could only afford so much a month it was comical. The doc or whoever did it did from edge her mouth in toward her nose on both side, and in time it looked like she had a hitler...so yeah...save your money first ;-)

BPOTW said...

That's a lot of 'what if's! Sometimes you gotta takes a chance.

Marilyn said...

Depends on what part of your body you are going with...I have never had laser hair removal, but I could tell you some interesting waxing stories of when I was in Miami having everything removed...and hearing a girl screaming for the tech to stop..."I'm done...NO MORE"
So in a way, when you commit to some form of bodily torture in the name of beauty...whether it is a tattoo, getting waxed or having your hair done (like hair color or perms are pleasant to smell); there is a certain amount of discomfort along the way and you are paying for it. No one thinks about how dry their hair gets after chemical treatments...so at least you are considering all of the side effects (real or imagined). You have to decide if you can live without the hair, after all maybe there is a purpose for the jungle look at times...the beauty of imperfection perhaps.

A Sideways Girl said...

I've never had laser hair removal and there is NO WAY I'm going to now! Those are some pretty serious potential side effects... besides, I'm not old yet, but I do totally enjoy my fuzzy kitten legs on occasion... (TMI?)

Tricia said...

That's awesome!! I'm getting my kitty lasered - I'll let you know how it goes. I know several girls who've done it and swear by it. Though I think you've GOTTA leave a landing strip because the idea of an 85-year-old woman who is bare-ass bald in her hoo hoo is a little creepy!! :)

Sandra said...

I've never had laser hair removal because I don't have time to be a superhero...oh, and it's hard to find great shoes when you have cankles.

Patricia ~ The Naked Writer said...

@Rich...dr. evil said that? I don't remember that at all..I have to now go and revisit that movie...funny line Muaahhhaaahhhaa (insert evil laugh soundtrack cd 1 track 6)
your welcome for the awards...did you snuggle with and stroke your jpeg (s) in bed all night long?

@ckrets i know in the west it is really expensive in thailand here it is relatively cheep although, i don't know that i would want someone with a laser up my ass hole try to permanently remove hair from there...can you say AWKWARD?

@Occassionally, when i think of spidermans balls that's how i envision them even without laser surgery...but his balls are all red like his suit and dark blue veins are everywhere...spidey has some weird balls i will draw you a picture in the future just so you can fully understand what i am talking about *big grin*

@tim i thought they have no hair in brazil that's why when you get all the hair removed down there it's called a brazilian? i am confused!

Patricia ~ The Naked Writer said...

@widow lady... OMG! That is too funny...did you take a picture? i would of been trying to 'capture the moment' every chance i got!

@BPOTW yes those were only my most pressing what if's ...something about a laser scares the crap out of me

@marilyn ...ahh the beauty of imperfection yes that sounds about right! i had waxing done on my underarms one time and i ended up bleeding it hurt soooo much...never again! the things us ladies have to do to be 'beautiful' huh?

@sideways girl lol never TMI! Furry kitty legs are were it's at then when you shave them you can really marvel at how soft and silky they are and constantly move your legs under your egyptian cotton sheets just cause it feels so damn good.

@tricia yes, that is a little creepy! OMG you are seriously getting your kitty lasered? wow! that is brave lady! please keep me informed about your couter...i really would love to hear all about it :o)

@Sandra ...my belly hurts with laughter over this comment! who has the time to be a super hero ...seriously! what a drag! if i ever opened up a shoe store i would call it cankles ...a shoe store catering to large women...i would probably make a killing! but then i would have to find gipetto (the guy from pinochio is that how you spell those stupid names?) so he could make me my shoes with extra cankle support...either that or steal some of santas elves but we all know what santa gets like when he's pissed ...no amount of milk and cookies will calm that fucker down :o)

Kenneth Bauer said...

I never understood the brazilian wax job thing....it looks..well...like a child, and thats REALLY creepy!

Marsy said...

If I were to do it I would get my entire body lasered (apart from my eyebrows and head otherwise i'd just look like a freak dolphin).

Maybe you could try doing only one leg to see how it goes then if you don't like it you can atleast keep the other kitten leg for when you are older :)

Patricia ~ The Naked Writer said...

@ Kenneth yes, i agree totally bald it totally creepy...'cookie' landing strips are a MUST!

@ Marsy seriously laughing hard at the dolphin thing great imagery...how would one pick up a man as a dolphin? they are pretty smooth looking though it would be pretty hot to look like a dolphin with hair...um i will draw you a picture later too...cause i need to see that one the image in my mind makes me smile hard.
i like the idea of keeping one kitten leg for the future and then when i get a boyfriend (if i ever get a boyfriend) he will never get bored cause he will have one dolphin leg and one kitten leg how awesome would that be?
*smiley face*

Marsy said...

Patricia - I like that you are thinking ahead into the future about how you would like your leg condition to be in and I believe the one kitten - one dolphin leg is the ideal combo!
Well done you :)

If you do make a picture please send it to me and I will put it up on my Facebook page.

Two questions for you: What likes Kittens very much and what likes Dolphins even more?

Your sexy FF. x

Timoteo said...

I was just referring to Brazilian girls in their natural state. LOL

But hey, shaving it all off "down there" is not sexy! A little mystery (hair) is intriguing, and much more sexy than this bald gaping thing staring you in the face!

Maia Dobson said...

I like the title because it's funny. But it's true, laser hair removal Long Island is painless and very effective.

Laser Treatment said...

The author always want to try laser hair removal. Now know all about it

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